Welcome to Cult of Perfect!
This is a limited run podcast about the intersection of motherhood, public performance, and bodies.
We are Sara Petersen and Virginia Sole-Smith. You can read more about us here.
To hear today’s episode in full—or read the full transcript—you will need to be a paid Cult of Perfect subscriber. It’s just $5 per month or $15 to get full access to every episode, plus commenting privileges and our biweekly live threads. (If you need to feel absolutely incandescent with rage, highly recommend last week’s thread!)
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Quick note from Virginia: We recorded this episode a few months ago, before the news of my own divorce was public, and actually—before I fully knew it myself. So some parts of this conversation might land a little weirdly now! And yes, it was bittersweet to listen back on my conversation with Sara, and realize how much has changed, even though it’s mostly all for the better. But I get even more out of Sara’s interview with now than I did then! So whether you’re married, a single parent, or maybe just single-parent curious, I think there’s A LOT here for all of us.
Cult of Perfect Episode 3 Transcript
Sara
Virginia, if you were asked to describe the “perfect” American nuclear family, what would you describe?
Virginia
I would say heterosexual, man and woman. Married, for sure. Married prior to the conception of children, but then quickly followed by the conception of children. Probably at least two, maybe three kids—more than that starts to get a little weird. I don’t think it gets weird! But that’s not perfect nuclear family. You need a dog or cat in the yard and to live in a suburb. And be white.
Sara
You hit the nail on the head. You missed the picket fence.
Virginia
And the SUV, and trampoline in the yard.
Sara
Right. I want to start by thinking about how the limitations of this family structure, which is very specific, showed up during the pandemic, because I know they did for my family and a lot of other families I know.
Virginia
For better for worse, I also just described my own current family structure. I am white, I am married to a man, we have two children. We have a cat and a dog. We do not have a picket fence, but we do have a fence. It’s a deer fence, dammit. We live in the woods, not the suburbs, but not that far from suburbs. And I would say the limitations of our family were very apparent very early on.
